The Intimacy Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as click here to find out more optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North this includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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