The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems this contact form occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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