The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay guys wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with browse around here your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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