The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to resist. Bonuses After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane locations, sex is click over here now easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay guys desire to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually Website suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar