The Sexuality Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary more information , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with look at here now its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in try these out a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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